FINDING NEMO!!!
All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea, well he doesn't walk up, he swims up. Well, actually the mollusk isn't moving. He's in one place and then the sea cucumber, well they--I mixed up. There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that I--
Actually I do know one that's pretty good. There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally, they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks. So the sea mollusk says to the cucumber...
- Marlin
An anemo-none. A nemenem-menome-nememen-nenemone--
- Nemo
A boat? Hey, I've seen a boat. It passed by not too long ago. It went this way, it went this way. Follow me!
- Dory
'I am a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself. Fish are friends, not food.'
- Bruce
BRUCE : It has been three weeks since my last fish, on my honor, or may I be chopped up and made into soup.
CHUM : You're an inspiration to all of us.
Look, here's something! 'ESSS-CA-PE'! I wonder what that means. It's funny, it's spelled just like the word 'escape'.
- Dory
DORY : [singing] Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim.
MARLIN : Dory, no singing.
DORY : [singing] Ho ho ho ho ho ho! I love to swim! When you want to swim..
MARLIN : See, I'm going to get stuck now with that song now it's in my head!
DORY : Aaah! Something's got me!
MARLIN : That was me. I'm sorry.
DORY : [gasps] Who was that?
MARLIN : Who could it be? It's me!
DORY : Are..are you my conscience?
MARLIN : Yeah, yeah. I'm your conscience. We haven't spoken for a while. How are you?
DORY : Hmm, can't complain.
MARLIN : Yeah? Good. Now, Dory. I want you to tell me..do you see anything?
DORY : I see..I see a light.
MARLIN : A light.
DORY : Yeah. Over there. Hey, conscience. Am I dead?
MARLIN : No, I see it too.
Nemo! Newcomer of orange and white, you have been called forth to the summit of Mount Wannahockaloogie to join with us in the fraternal bonds of tankhood.
- Bloat
GILL : From this moment on, you will now be known as Sharkbait.
BLOAT/BUBBLES/GURGLE : Sharkbait! Ooh ha ha!
GILL : Welcome, brother Sharkbait!
BLOAT/BUBBLES/GURGLE :Sharkbait! Ooh ha ha!
GILL : Enough with the Sharkbait.
GURGLE : Sharkbait! Ooh..ba-ba-doo.
BLOAT : Aye!
JAQUES : Aye!
DEB : Aye!
BUBBLES : Aye!
GURGLE : I think your nuts.
I'm going to P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney. Where are you going? I'm going to P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney. If you're askin' where I'm goin'. I'll tell you that's where I'm going. It's P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney. Where? I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way...
P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney. Why do I have to tell you over and over again? I'll tell you again. I don't get tired of it--
- Dory
MARLIN : What's the matter? While they're doing their silly little impressions, I am miles from home, with a fish that can't even remember her own name.
DORY : Boy, bet that's frustrating.
I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy. Come here, Squishy. Come here, little Squishy.
- Dory
First you were like, 'whoa'! And then we were all like, 'whoa'! And then you were like, 'whoa'.
- Crush
Oh, intro. Jellyman, Offspring. Offspring, Jellyman.
- Crush
CRUSH : All right, we're here, dudes! Get ready! Your exit's comin' up, man!
MARLIN : Where!? I don't see it!
DORY : Right there! I see it! I see it!
MARLIN : You mean the swirling vortex of terror!?
CRUSH : That's it, dude!
MARLIN : Of course it is.
CRUSH : Okay, first: find your exit buddy!
Do you have your exit buddy?
DORY : Yes!
CRUSH :Okay, Squirt here will now give you a rundown of proper exiting technique!
SQUIRT : Good afternoon, we're gonna have a great jump today! Okay, crank a hard cutback as you hit the wall! There's a screaming bottom turn, so watch out! Remember: rip it, roll it and punch it!
MARLIN : It's like he's trying to speak to me, I know it! You know, you're really cute! But I don't know what you're saying! Say the first thing again!
DORY : Hey, how about we play a game?
MARLIN : Okay.
DORY : Uh, Okay. I'm thinking of something, uh, orange. And it's small..
MARLIN : It's me.
DORy : Right. Okay..
..orange, and uh, small..
MARLIN : It's me.
DORY : All righty, Mr. Smarty pants.
..orange and small, and white stripes..
MARLIN : Me. And the next one's just a guess: me.
DORY : Okay, that's just scary.
DORY : Oh. Oh, oh, big fella. Big fe--whale. Okay. Maybe he only speaks whale.
MOOOOO-WEEEEEEE-NEEEEED...
MARLIN : Uh, Dory.. What're you doing?
DORY : TOOOOOOO-FIIIIIIND...
MARLIN : What're you doing?
DORY : HIS-SOOOOOOOOOOON...
MARLIN : Are you sure you speak whale?
DORY : CAN-YOOOOOOOOUUU-GIIIIIIIIIVE-USSSS-DIRECTIOOOOOOOONS-TOOOOOOOOO...
MARLIN : Dory! Heaven knows what you're saying! See, he's swimming away.
DORY : COOOME-BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!
MARLIN : He's not coming back. You offended him.
DORY : Maybe a different dialect. MOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MOOOOOAAAAAAAAAA..!
MARLIN : Dory. Dory, this is not whale. You're speaking like..upset stomach.
DORY : Maybe I should try humpback.
MARLIN : No, don't try humpback.
DORY : WAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOO!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOO!!!
MARLIN : Okay, you actually sound sick.
DORY : Maybe louder, huh? RAAAH!!! RAAAAH!!!
MARLIN : Don't do that!
DORY : Too much orca. Didn't it sound a little orca-ish?
MARLIN : It doesn't sound orca! It sounds like nothing I've ever heard!
DORy : MOOOO..MOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
No, you can't! You think you could do these things but you can't, Nemo!
- Marlin
MARLIN : THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANK-YOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUU-SIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
DORY : Wow. I wish I could speak whale.
NEMO : Exchange student.
SQUIRT : I'm from the EAC, dude!
MR. RAY : Sweet.
NEMO/SQUIRT : Totally.
i was laughing my ass of the whole time i read through the script.... lol